Your fear of looking stupid how to#

When you get rejected by someone, they’ll quickly forget it. When you ask someone for advice, they’ll quickly forget about it. Think about all the things you’ve done today. Almost every experience you have you’ll permanently forget within 30 seconds. “Short-term memory has a fairly limited capacity it can hold about seven items for no more than 20 or 30 seconds at a time.” - Science.howstuffworks Memory Is Very Short (This Will Be Forgotten) If you tell people, “no,” they’ll be initially hurt but will respect you more. Yet, research from Harvard Business School found that when you ask people for help, directions, or advice, it actually makes other people believe you’re MORE competent. Hilariously, people avoid asking for advice because they don’t want to look incompetent. “Your fear of looking stupid is making you look stupid.” - RuPual It’s Okay To “Look” Stupid At 99% Of Life

Only in this way will you attract the opportunities and relationships that resonate with the person you intend to become.

Your fear of looking stupid how to#

Ironically, this is also how to get into flow, be present, and perform at your highest level. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll keep going. When you truly believe and know you are fine and secure without THIS relationship or THIS opportunity, then you can act honestly and genuinely. Hence, Covey explained that abundance comes from being internally secure.Īs Jody Williamson, one of the top salesmen in the United States, teaches his employees, you must believe you are independently wealthy, and that you don’t NEED this particular prospect. Because anything you give to them is really to gain something for yourself - approval. You can’t actually give genuine service or gifts if you’re desperately needing approval from others. You’ll be tossed to and fro with every external situation around you. But until your security is internal, you’ll never be able to be fully honest in your relationships in the first place. Of course you need good friends to help and support you. Even when things are falling apart externally, you need to be willing to trust yourself. “An abundance mentality springs from internal security, not from external rankings, comparisons, opinions, possessions, or associations.” - Stephen R. When conflict arises, it’s not about the relationship, but about getting clarity and moving forward with whatever they are working on. They don’t have to see eye-to-eye on all things. When two people feel safe and comfortable in a relationship, they’re willing to have honest and sometimes difficult conversations. Conflict, it turns out, is one of the surest paths to intimacy. Relationships can be so deep and genuine and real. It shouldn’t be lived in fear of what others think. It shouldn’t be spent doing what you hate. If you do not do this, you will inevitably repeat the pattern in the future. If you truly love and respect yourself, you’ll deal with the difficult emotions of learning to honestly express yourself. Muster the courage to have a real conversation and express your feelings. Rather than sending a text or email, actually call or meet with that person. It is there, if you’ll be honest with yourself. Where are you NEEDING approval in unhealthy ways? To be honest… Healthy Relationships Involve Conflict And Differences You’ll need to be willing to follow your gut. If you want to live a life of purpose, you’ll need to let go of your need for approval. None of these emotions are a healthy foundation for creating relationships with yourself or other people. The addiction for approval is fueled by unhealthy emotions: Joyce Meyer, in her book, Approval Addiction: Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone, explains that the need for approval stems from insecurity, which is often the product of some form of abuse - physical, verbal or emotional. It has you ruminating and obsessing about problems and regrets you could easily remove or fix. It has you working on projects you’re not excited about. Your need for approval has you eating unhealthy foods you don’t want to eat. your relationships are co-dependent, one-sided, surface-level, and bound to fall apart at some future point.you say “yes” to stuff that clearly doesn’t resonate.Wanting approval and needing approval are two very different things. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.” John Lennon once said, “Trying to please everybody is impossible - if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. That is, if you’re trying to be liked by everyone. Yet, trying to be liked and living in alignment with your goals and values often conflict. According to psychological research, the greatest emotional need is security.